Dealing with sizes instead of measurements

Growing up as a seemingly plus-size girl is hard. Dealing with horrible sizing, only exasperated once I became a woman made it that much worse. And, it’s not just a problem for us curvy ladies. It’s a problem for women of all shapes and sizes. Sizing sucks.

I say “seemingly plus size” because looking back, I just didn’t have a runner body type. I had, and continue to have, curves: Butt, thighs, calves, hips, which just didn’t fit in most preteen and teen clothes in the 90s and early 2000s. That conversation is for another blog though.

As a logical adult woman, you would think the first hint women’s sizing has and without change will always be a big bummer, was that men’s pants are measured in inches. That’s right, men don’t look around multiple stores for an XXL, and if they’re lucky to find it at non-niche store, have to cross their fingers that it’s the XXL that fits them. They look for 32-inches. You heard that right. No matter what, that band better be 32-inches. Sure, some will be a bit off here and there and might not fit perfectly, but at the very least they’ll know their band fits.

For women, it’s the wild, wild west and one big box store may be the “right” size, but then another won’t fit the right way. Or, maybe you’re at two different niche stores, one who is your bestie and another who is that kid who makes all the other kids cry. And, you’re crying, because guess what, they don’t fit, and of course that means you shouldn’t have had that extra Snickers bar last Monday. If you didn’t eat that, maybe, just maybe, the denim Gods would take pity on you.

I mean, no wonder so many women have gone to wearing leggings, literally all the time. Work? Leggings. Running errands? Leggings. Going to a wedding? Leggings. I so don’t blame you. I have a few pair and they are perfect with any kind of boot on top of actually fitting. At the end of the day though, I want to look like a rockstar and be in that comfortable pair of jeans that make me feel like a badass. It took me 12 years to find them and I think I developed a complex from the amount of jeans that one Snickers bar prevented me from buying, but it’s the price to pay for a great pair of jeans.

Breaking it down.

It took a combination of some lengthy conversations about size with my former coworker as well as life experience to make me realize how much of a sham sizing really is.

My coworker was pretty much the opposite of me as far as sizing went. She is tall, slender and a more athletic build. I, on the other hand, am average height, plus-size and kind of pear-shaped build. Each of us has a completely different look, as we have a different sense of style. My coworker had to move to Florida and invited my sister and I over to see if there were any winter clothes we would like of hers, since she wasn’t going to need them anymore. I looked at her blankly and said, “I can’t fit into the same size clothes you and my sister can.” She looked at me and simply said, “Just try it on.”

I instantly had flashbacks of going into a fitting room with “my size” of clothing, and it tearing me down when it was too tight or didn’t look the way it did on the model. Thankfully, I was with two of the least judgmental women I have ever met. They both knew fashion was for everyone and my coworker seemed to just want to prove me wrong. She did, many times over as I found a lot of different shirts and a couple pair of boots that managed to fit both our body types. They fit differently, but they looked great on both of us. My mind was blown.

Sometime thereafter, I tried on the jeans in that photo. I was losing some weight and decided to try on some pants I had that were the “right size.” Two of them fit, one of them fit comfortably. My mind was blown again. How could these three pair of jeans, all of which had fit me at one time, didn’t fit me when I was currently wearing the corresponding size? I then questioned why it took me so long to figure out that it wasn’t just me. Ultimately, I realized as I had begun to realize more and more, that when you feel shamed or uncomfortable talking about something, it doesn’t get shared or thought through. Once I had that epiphany, I decided to start talking to other women — of all sizes and shapes — they shared with me their own brand of the denim-cladded horror story.

Tips and Tricks to not breaking down at the store.

Thankfully, through my experiences and what my friends have shared, there are some tips and tricks I can share so you don’t have to walk the edge of a total break down — or at least completely regret that Snickers bar — while you’re shopping.

• Only shop with someone who is kind. Seriously, if you’re the only person who can be kind to yourself while shopping, go alone. Don’t go with anyone who will make it worse than it can. You don’t need that nonsense. My sister is a great cheerleader of mine, especially when I’m shopping. She manages to be far more kind to me than myself would have been, especially in the past. My sister and I are honest and caring, as well as can positively suggest clothing that isn’t in our comfort zones. Sometimes you just need your cheerleader there!
• Find the one company you love, and hold on to it dearly. Torrid has been a lifesaver. I love their clothing, and I’ve been buying it for years. They have a variety of styles for all kind of a shapes and sizes 10 through 30. They are the one of few companies I know where their product has actually improved over time, they listen to their customers and the sizing stays pretty dead on. Because of those reasons, I’m able to shop online and am 98% confident it will fit. If you don’t believe me, I was able to buy a pair of knee-high boots … online. AND THEY FIT!
• Remember to ‘Just try it on.’ Every piece of clothing you try on has the potential to not fit, but just try it on. It also has the potential to fit. If you need to get something right away, get something from your go-to company. If you are testing the waters for something new, remember to just try it on and that women of all shapes and sizes are having the same problem. There are no rules to sizing, and its not really because of one Snickers bar.
• Size is just a number. Don’t try to squeeze the daylights out of yourself just to fit into “your size,” or wear a belt just so they stay up. Trust me, its really not worth it. Find the size that fits you and makes you feel confident and comfortable. Once you wear them a few times, you won’t even remember what size they are.

I hope if you’re having trouble with sizing that some of these tips and tricks help you out. Remember you’re all amazing and whatever size fits, you’re perfect the way you are right now. Until next time …

As of this publication date, I am not paid to blog for Torrid or Snickers. I just love both companies.